Soulgasm

To Quill the Mocking World

A Heart Full of Sea


Chanda Lalwani

(4 min read)

chanda-pic

There was this drop of love

I had kept safe for you,

Within the glass walls of my heart.

Waiting, so you may one day

Carry it in your palm.

But you never came.

 

With every fleeting second

The drop got bigger

And bounced off the glass walls,

Looking for a crack to leak out of,

Hoping to pour into your insides.

But you never came.

 

The wait has been worth years now,

The drop is now a sea,

Salty with tears shed within,

Too heavy to go up to the eyes.

I waited for you to wipe them away.

But you never came.

 

You can’t see through my heart now,

Its walls are lined with scales.

Unwilling to leave, stubborn and old,

Like wrinkles on a forehead,

Like the age I thought I’d share with you.

But you never came.

 

So here I am, with a heart full of love,

Too heavy to carry by myself,

Too ugly to wear on my sleeve again.

I keep it wrapped in newspapers

Like scandalous things not to be seen.

I had hoped you’d see yourself in it.

But you never came.

 

I could wait till the end of life,

Till the waves within die once and for all.

Or I could let the caged sea outside

To welcoming sands, not necessarily yours.

You’d think I’m mad, but I chose the third way.

 

I made a little hole in my heart

And poured out the sea in a shiny new bottle.

Two tablespoons after dinner, said the doc.

It’s a dose of acceptance, the salty potion.

I gulp it down with my wine every night.

 

My heart lies empty, thrown in the corner.

Shreds of glass and scales of the past.

Not waiting for a safe haven anymore,

The hollowness doesn’t grieve anymore,

The sounds of the sea don’t echo anymore,

Because they know you’ll never come.


Chanda Lalwani

Soulgasm (1)

A compulsive nocturnal, Chanda is a consultant by day and a dreamer by night. Her happiness lies in chai, chitchat and chicken momos. She resorts to food for comfort, sings for joy, and occasionally acts for her fix of the stage lights. Loves watching and absorbing the world around her. And when these observations become too strong to be housed inside, she writes.

Click here to read Chanda’s posts. 

(Click here to read our first book “Mirrored Spaces” : A poetry and art anthology in English and Hindi with contributions from 22 artists)

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This entry was posted on September 17, 2016 by in Poetry and tagged .

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