To Quill the Mocking World
By Ratika Sablania
(5 min read)
[Inspired from Candance Bushnell, with love for Carrie Bradshaw]
Ah yes. Why indeed. Let me tell you the story of an average healthy person Mr. B
Day 1-5: It is Day 1, and Mr. B is getting ready to get shit done. You know, do stuff, get chores done, move ahead in life, blah blah. All geared up to do that, just that the stomach cramps would not stop, the back pain would not let him breathe and the legs are numb! But this person is wise enough and has learnt to exercise regularly, and monitor salts intake to manage the discomfort, but only if he could lie down a bit. Well, the world can wait 4-5 days! Working on low efficiency is one thing, binge eating is another. Now Mr. B, who strives to stay healthy, cannot stop this urge to eat deep fried and absolute junk during these days. Research says, this hormonal lead binge eating would actually cause him to age faster. But then, this person has no one to tell him that. So he eats whatever his body asks for, hungrily. Better days would come obviously.
Day 6-14: Now, the major part of the month when Mr. B is physically fit to get shit done. This is the part where hormones called estrogen and testosterone start rising, I mean really rising. And Mr. B catches himself day dreaming about intense sexual activity and is at the peak of heightened libido. Barely a week after the physical discomfort got over, the bitch called ovulation has kicked in, heightening the sexual needs of Mr. B. As if he did not have enough to deal with. Lying in bed, sleeping an extra hour, he marks his calendar, and waits for this time and his illogical libido to pass as well. Changing the world can wait. Need to deal with the testosterone first!
Day 14-25: Aha! Thinks a perfectly ovulated Mr. B. Experience and reading has taught him that this is the window when those extra interfering hormones would flush out of his system and he can live a normal, non-interrupted life! Way to go! Only now, the progesterone starts kicking in and will keep on going for the next 2 weeks. Everything seems to be going well just that he doesn’t feel so good about himself….flushing out of hormones perhaps. Anxiety, panic attacks, crying fits, depression, tiredness, headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation….over 150 symptoms which can be attributed to this flushing out of hormones and the situation labeled as PMS. Mr. B gets to work, managing, ignoring the crazy emotions; he needs to get ahead in the world after all, doesn’t he!
Day 25-28: The height of PMS, and the internal blood linings are putting pressure on the nerve endings causing Mr. B to feel depressed and aroused simultaneously! Mr. B ends up feeling like shit and sexy both at the same time! He will wait for this to pass as well, telling himself he isn’t actually so bad, this is just PMS, and would look forward to now to the phase of physical discomfort again, just so that he can get rid of his crazy hormones and get some work done!
Only, Mr. B is not a mister and is a female by the grace of Mother Nature. Emotions are supposed to be an internal guidance system to lead us to the right path and good things in life. Mr. B flushed so incessantly, so regularly by unwanted hormones struggles to get a grip on emotions every week to get shit done. How reliable are these hormone driven emotions of libido, self worth and righteousness are? How just are these in letting Mr. B have a right view of the world and take objective decisions? Nature has designed Mr. B it seems to grow eventually into a superhuman. Because only a superhuman can manage such eccentric phases and still stay on track in life. It is either a choice to manage it all and grow into a superhuman, or just put up with the flushing and stay mediocre.
B doesn’t want to be a superhuman! She just wants to be a human, just throw in some men to tell B what to do. Greatness can wait.